Dr. Protocol

So, I do some writing for Analog Zone, a publication primarily targeted at engineers. We’re doing a column entitled Dr. Protocol, which is sort of a sarcastic, off the wall, answers column. The question this week is:

Dear Dr. Protocol,
I keep hearing about the immense potential of quantum computing. It this just hype, and if it is not, how will it affect the networking and telecommunications industry?

Signed Questing in Potentia

And my response is:

Dear Questing,
As we all know, a computer that uses the unique properties of quantum particles, to perform calculations would be called a Quantum Computer. Note the key tense of the verb “to be”, which is to say, it *would be* called. I use this tense, because to date, nobody has been able to harness the little buggers.

See, quantum physics was “discovered” by Max Planck in 1900, to explain how energy came in discrete bundles called quanta that were of fixed size and carried energy that was proportional to their wavelength. This was a radical shift from classic physics, and indeed threw many scientists into a bit of a tizzy because it required reworking the entire field of physics.
And while great strides are being made in the field of quantum computing, research is currently being held up by animal rights activists who have chained themselves to the lead box containing Schrodinger’s cat, claiming that the superposition about the nature of reality on the observable level is cruel. Schrodinger reportedly said that he wished he had never met that cat.

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Now, I think that’s bloody funny…what think y’all?

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