In a move hailed by corporation owners as a forward-thinking humanitarian gesture, IBM emancipated more than 8,000 wage slaves from its factories and offices Monday.
“You are all free, free to go!” said IBM CEO Samuel J. Palmisano to the 600 men and women freed from the corporation’s Essex Junction, VT, location. “No more must you live a bleak, hand-to-mouth existence, chained to your desks in a never-ending Monday-through-Friday, 9-to-5 cycle. Your future is wide-open. Now, go!”
The Onion nails it. Good to see them back on the swing again.