You want a wheelbarrow for those?

The unmitigated balls of some people never cease to amaze me. In our mailbox was an unaddressed envelope, with a party invitation inside. The invitation was unsigned except for the words (aprox) “Jessica is going away to college and would like gifts from the enclosed list.” Then there was a folded up sheet of lined notebook paper. Each line, in painfully childish script, was elucidated a wish…such as furniture, dishes, clothes, etc.

Now…I don’t know any Jessica’s in this neighborhood. Hell, I don’t know anybody going away to college…my friends are too old for it, and their kids aren’t quite old enough. So The Man checked the address of the “gimme party” where I assume we’re supposed to bring this list of loot, and it’s a neighbor who lives like a block away…I don’t know her last name. I’ve seen her at a couple of block parties and she’s friends with the trophy wives who exclude me from their reindeer games. I know her best because her son is the one who keeps breaking into houses.

What kind of fucking balls does it take to come up with such a scheme? I mean, they don’t know our name, so they can’t address the envelope to us…but they’re still going to try and instill some sense of obligation that we should buy something for their spawn…who we don’t even know. And then, to not sign the card…that’s just ballsy. Or stupid. Or tacky and tasteless. Perhaps all of the above.

Honestly. Stupid people suck. And I’m still not allowed to hunt them for sport. Which also sucks.

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