You got, you got, you got what I neeeeeed!

I have an unusual name, so doing the google “Name Needs” meme leaves me with a paucity of choices from which to choose. Apparently, what I really need, is a personal assistant. Or a zombie horde. But, really…have you ever tried to hire zombies this close to Halloween? Just the union negotiations alone can take days, and I live in trophy wife land, so finding brains can be a real challenge.

Anyway, here’s what I got: (and my comments thereupon)

De needs to learn is that no magic or force can persuade someone as to who they should fall in love with. (Ha…FOOOLS! You know nothing! Beware my love potions and candles of Dooooom! MwhahahahahahahaHa. Love me! You will all LOVE ME! Er. Ahem. So sorry. Tis the season, doncha know.)

De needs two able-bodied drones to help with the second shift. (So true. So very, very true.)

De Needs Help (Also true.)

De needs to provide context… (Nope, that just ruins the fun, really.)

De needs brains. (Well, one does have to feed the zombies.)

De needs an assistant to step forward immediately. (Yes, I think we’ve covered that already. See above. I wouldn’t need so much help if the world would stop being so damned redundant.)

De needs a copy of the Dome rental contract. (OH NO! I don’t care how many assistants I get, I’m not taking responsibility for the Dome. Uh uh. Wasn’t me. I wasn’t anywhere near the place. Find yourself another patsy. Hey, look…a FEMA executive! Sic’ em! )

Comments are disabled for this post