Dear lords in heaven, what has gotten into me?

I have a desire…nay a lust for red, crocodile (but not *real* crocodile…fake for me, please) Hermes birkin bag. I have never had lust for an accessory in my entire life. For instance, I only have 7 or 8 styles of shoes; (tennies, flats, loafers, sandals, low heel, mid heel, OMFG heel, CFM thigh high boots.) Granted, there’s assorted colors and subsets…but still; basically 7 or 8 styles…almost none of which I get wear very often, since I got domesticated. ;) (Well…outside the house, that is…rawr!) I don’t have tons of jewelry. My entire purse collection could fit in a few inches of shelf space. I’m not even sure I own a belt.

But I have lust in my heart for this bag. Major lust. The kind of lust that can usually only be found after the words “Dear Penthouse, I never thought I’d be writing you, but…” I want to cuddle this bag, hold it, take it home, sleep with it under my pillow, give it a nickname and make it my own.

I think the attraction is so strong because it’s one of those things I will never own. Cause, really…I could buy a car for what a birkin bag would cost, and that’s just stupid. Beyond stupid, that’s a special kind of “what is wrong with you?” insane. A $13,000.00 purse is just obscene. It’s an affront to everything I believe in.

And yet…I really want that bag.

Have I mentioned that I think I’m going to buy a Volvo?

Something is wrong with me, terribly, terribly wrong with me. ;)

Speaking of things wrong with me, I have this golf ball sized lump of something or other growing near my spine. (Ok, it’s probably not really that big…it just feels that big. My doctor was going to do something with it today, but he looked at it and said that it would have to be looked at my a surgeon, because it’s too close to my spinal column, and it’s going to have to be completely excised…not something that internists do, as a rule. They have me on the OMG cocktail of antibiotics, which is just going to kill my system because I never take antibiotics, so I have no tolerance or immunity. They can’t do anything until after the first round of antibiotics is coursing through me, so it’ll be almost a week before I can schedule anything…and that’s assuming it’s not still swollen, painful, or has hatched an alien.

Me, I’m betting on an alien. Damn aliens. They know I’m allergic to the probes.

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