I’ve just had the greatest idea. You know how NASCAR drivers are all covered in labels of their sponsors? And when race drivers talk they say things like “The Bubba Burger Yugo was good all night long, I’d like to thank my sponsors; Eunice’s Unique Boutique and Beer Palace, Mel’s Moonshine – it probably won’t kill you, and of course the Lord and my Momma.”
We should make our Congresscritters wear jumpsuits with the logos of their corporate donors. The larger the donation, the larger the logo. So, when some Congresscritter starts pontificating about how owning a Hummer is better than worrying about some weird Caribou we can’t even hunt, you could see his ass-sized Oil Company logo, and you would know that his take on the issue is probably a little tainted.
We should enforce mandatory uniforms on Congresscritters. They should have to wear the badges of their sponsors…since it sure isn’t the citizens. Also, their staff should wear helmets. Not for any safety reason, but just because a room full of helmeted political wonks would be funny. CSPAN would be way more interesting if all those people scurrying around the place looked like aliens.
So, that’s my proposal. Now…how do we get it enacted?