Attention Texans

The one and only governor’s debate is on right now. Check your local Belo-owned affiliate. In Dallas, that’s channel 8.

Edit to add:

I think Kinky won the night. I think he said some pretty damn weird stuff…but ya know, I love him for that. And I loved the “If you’re not pissing someone off, you’re not doing anything” line. That was genius, and probably won him a lot of good ol’ boy votes. Politically correct pantywaist politicians have started pissing off the general public. GOOD! It’s about damn time. I like his ideas of putting citizens in charge of state agencies, and re-regulating state tuitions, and decriminalizing pot. I’m not real happy with his border ideas…but then, it’s not like I have a better solution. (Or any logical solution at all, for that matter.)

I was actually astounded at how bad the other 3 came off. These are professionally coached, professionally primped for the camera, professional public speakers, and every last one of them came off stiff or crazy. (Strayhorn, I’m looking at you…) Surprisingly, Bell was better than I thought he’d be…but still an automaton. I mean, I think he’d clink if you patted him on the back.

Strayhorn…who the hell gave Grandma the crack pipe. Chill lady. You were scaring me with that Reagan tremble and your wandering off into delusion land, there. And could you have gotten any more pink? Good crisps, it was like a wardrobe by Barbie. Sheesh, you used to be a republican; I know you have a nice blue dress and a set of pearls…would it be too much to ask that you not make my eyes bleed when you go on camera?

Perry; Jebus onna stick. It’s people like him that make David Icke seem right. There are Lizard People…and Perry, you know that man can lick his own eyeballs. You can look at his dead reptilian eyes and know that no soul has ever inhabited the dark, dank, cavities of his echoing cavernous consciousness. *shudder*

For me, the clear choice is Kinky. I love Kinky. Even if his mustache does look drawn on. I think Kinky could shake some feathers up in Austin. I’m not real sure he has a plan, but ya know, a little chaos never hurt anyone. In a manner of speaking. As it were. Besides, chaos may be our only hope at this point. Go, Kinky!

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